Two weeks ago, my wife Paula and I were in the Midwest to attend a family funeral and to do some vacationing. We were on a drive to Kansas City going about 70 mph on a 4-lane divided highway when a deer crossed over to the median about 200 yards in front of us. I asked Paula if she saw the deer and she said “Yes, I do.” A few seconds later she shouts out: “The deer!!” Next thing I know we are hitting a large deer, smashing in the front end of our rental car. Luckily, we were not hurt. The same can’t be said for the deer.
As we were waiting for the tow truck we discussed what happened. It was a classic case of not being specific in our communication. When I asked Paula if she saw the deer, I was referring to the one in the median in the middle of the highway. When she responded “Yes, I do,” she was referring to the deer on the side of the road.
A better, more specific form of communication would have been:
JOHN:
“Do you see the deer in the median?”PAULA:
“No, but I see the one on the side of the road.”
Too many times we are not specific in our communication and we end up creating unnecessary conflict – or a deer dies…
Here is an article with more in depth information on being specific:
http://itmanagersinbox.com/1692/communications-skills-how-to-be-specific/
I have just completed a capstone meeting for our work with the Kellogg Foundation and found it interesting that we often experience this need to be specific in our communication... And this includes reflecting back on what we think we are hearing from others. I appreciate your work John and your consistent observations of life's valuable lessons!
ReplyDeletePaula Hester